I notice that Amanda Platell has picked up the weekly scam that is the Jonathan Ross programme. She points out that on his Friday night show last week, Ross felt compelled to ask gorgeous but utterly vacuous Kelly Brook why she smelled so good. It turned out she was launching her new perfume. As a PR stunt, it was shameless. As TV, it stank. Worse still, we are asked to fund this egomaniac on stilts.

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  1. Sebastian Weetabix says:

    not exactly biased though, is it? More a useless waste of my money.


  2. Peter says:

    I was going to start with ‘to be fair’, but will simply note that if media outlets ignored the siren call of PR then our airwaves would be a barren place.


    As we are on this site, talking about (in the main) just one broadcaster, one has to wonder why we have to pay for a supposedly ad-free entity when almost every aspect can be bought, cheap, merely by a special relationship existing between some London-luvvies in the BBC and their very good chums around town.

    I can sort of live (though why I don’t know. Shifting tickets for money is no different to flogging anything else for profit) with a plug for a show or book (though it’s wearing thin wheeling out a gallon of peroxide under the guise of being ‘this month’s spokeswoman for..’ when in fact all parties really want to do, and do do is ditch the charity quicksmart to get to the goss on the new B-list outing) but when even main news does it you have to wonder.

    I can almost set my watch by our Declan having Sir Stuart Rose on with a rack of M&S stuff to flog in the name of something ‘business-related’.

    I know all the others do it but… repeat after many before me… ‘we don’t have to pay for them’.

    This mythical Charter-thingy seems to be popped through the shredder more than the DG’s monthly receipts.


  3. Peter says:

    Follwing on from my earlier post… small irony alert from another thread?:


    ‘…they couldn’t be “seen to be promoting Jesus”.

    Jonathan Boyd Hunt | Homepage | 14.09.08 – 11:25 am |

    Some celeb’s pong, however… brin… er…spray it on!!!

    Gotta love it when the left hand puts it in writing whilst the right hand does what that sore-cheeked little monkey Mr. Ross does best (apparently).


  4. adam says:

    That whole programme is for celebs to promote things, whatever channel its on.
    Woss dutifully says their new thing is wonderful.

    I still think a Wossy windfall tax would be a great idea.


  5. Ron Todd says:

    How long before it is Sir Jonathon Ross for services to broadcasting?

    If he had been a bit quicker of the line he could have bought a peerage before Blair had his collar felt.


  6. Nearly Oxfordian says:

    Al Beeb is not supposed to carry advertising. What a bunch of utter scum.


  7. Nearly Oxfordian says:

    I still think kicking the turd JR where it hurts most is a good idea.


  8. Niallster says:

    If you think Brook is brainless what about the utter gorgeous but totally brainless Abigail Clancy?

    She was so dumb I don’t even know what she was promoting.

    I was only watching to see my great hero Stevie Wonder but after 2 minutes of Wossie I had to record it on Sky + so I could so back and minimise Woss and maximise Wonder.


  9. Jason says:

    I take it that immediate refunds will be paid to the tune of whatever Wossy’s programme was paid for the plug, divided by however many people actually have a license these days.


  10. moonbat nibbler says:

    AA Gill in this weeks Sunday Times, says about “Ireland to Sydney by Any Means”, currently broadcast on BBC 2:

    “there is a hint – well, more than a hint – of naked product placement. The first episode was replete with logos and enthusiastic encomiums for various bits of kit. They went out of their way to fit in yet more products.”



  11. adam says:

    i hated those “long way…” things. One of the worst things i have ever watched, and i only managed 3 episodes.
    I have such a hatred for those two stupid, spoilt dicks. More Rubbish BBC TV, whatever amazon reviews might say.
    It should have ruined their careers.



  12. archduke says:

    what i find fundementally dishonest about the lastest charlie boorman escapade, is that there is not the slightest hint of how he is funding the damn thing.

    its as if anyone can just take 6 months off work and just jump on a bike to sydney.



  13. Original Robin says:


    Also having a media organisation watching over you helps a bit. Like with dangerous mishaps and bureacracies that might not be accomdating even when not bacsheeshed.
    If it all goes wrong, into the 4×4 to a heliport then to airport back to civilisation.
    Unlike if you do it for real.


  14. Scott says:

    Niallster: “If you think Brook is brainless what about the utter gorgeous but totally brainless Abigail Clancy?

    She was so dumb I don’t even know what she was promoting.”

    Well, she talked about the new TV show she is presenting, of which they showed a clip. And yet somehow she’s the dumb one.

    With logic like that, you make even David Vance seem rational. Well done – that’s some feat!


  15. adam says:

    Archduke, they almost burst into tears when the bike company wouldnt give them free bikes for long way round.

    Just such annoying people. Spoilt beeboid mentality.


  16. The Bias Must End says:

    Johnathon Ross has celebrities on to promote their latest perfume/book/CD etc. It’s like QVC, but without a phone number displayed on screen.

    All of these talk shows like Johnathan Ross / Parkinson etc, no matter what channel they are on, should all have QVC style graphics and a phone number for you to ring to buy the product, just to make it really obvious that it is just a stealthy 15 minute advert.

    But why are tax payers paying Ross £18m to host what are essentially infomercials for celebrity perfume? Kelly Brook is the one that should be paying the taxpayers for that airtime.


  17. David Vance says:


    You must be an ideal Wossy demographic.


  18. Scott says:

    “You must be an ideal Wossy demographic.”

    Could be worse. Reduce my IQ down to two digits, and I could become an ideal David Vance demographic.


  19. David Vance says:


    Bless you – you do try, don’t you? Just not hard enough though.


  20. magic dave says:

    You’re annoyed that the BBC are making a programme you don’t like?


  21. Gordon BrownStuff says:

    DV, it’s called (apparently) “entertainment” and you know you should be grateful that the (rather limited, reptitively themed) “talents”of Ross enter your living room for such a paltry few pence a day!

    I think you need to go to government approved social re-education classes in order to cleanse your brain of socially disruptive thoughts that could influence the public.

    Ross has got to earn a living you know and pay for a wife and kid.

    It is the BBC’s duty to give all talentless people the chance to take home megabucks wages that should not be simply awarded on the basis of arbitrary accidents of birth that people born with talent believe gives them the right to exploit their alleged talent. Who do they think they are? Who are they to say they have a talent?

    Such a discrimination against talentless indivudals, such as Ross, is evil and you should be ashamed. You should know that Ross got an “A*” in his Media Studies evening class and this therefore proves his right to millions of your dosh.



  22. disillusioned_german says:

    So Al Beeb viewers / Labour supporters / lefties generally have an IQ higher than a bottle of Foster’s? I wasn’t aware of that.


  23. moonbat nibbler says:

    Scott, such ad hominem attacks are so classy!

    magic dave, the BBC is supposed to disallow such product placement. I enjoy Ross *dodges tomatoes* but his brand of entertainment would be better appreciated on a commercial channel – not least because he’d be freed from the supposed shackles of not promoting a film/CD/book.

    Ross on the BBC is a misappropriation of money. Taxpayer money that is ill-gotten via a, morally perverse, poll tax backed up with the threat of imprisonment.


  24. Scott says:

    “Bless you – you do try, don’t you? Just not hard enough though.”

    I know. I am sorry, I do realise that not bothering to make the effort is your speciality.


  25. Verity says:

    Hello, the address box hasn’t come up automatically with my name and email address on it today; and also, individual entries above do not indicate how many unread.

    I have not changed the settings of my computer in any way. Any idea what happened?


  26. Martin says:

    Verity: Sounds like your cookie’s have been cleaned out.


  27. adam says:

    Scot, are you lost?

    Your blog is very interesting.
    Googling your own name, how original.


  28. disillusioned_german says:

    adam | 15.09.08 – 1:16 am |

    The IQ of a bottle of Foster’s 😉


  29. Verity says:

    Martin – You are right! I did! Thank you!


  30. Jason says:

    Scot, are you lost?

    Your blog is very interesting.
    Googling your own name, how original.
    adam | 15.09.08 – 1:16 am | #

    I see he went for the “default” WordPress theme then. Classy stuff – it looks like a loaf of Tesco’s “no-frills” bread.


  31. Sharamik says:

    ANY guest on ANY chatshow on ANY channel is there to promote themselves. That’s the only reason they go on the things and this has always been the case. You wouldn’t level the same accusations against, say, Parkie, but the truth is whoever he had as a guest was there to whore themselves. Comedian? New Tour coming up. Actor? New film coming out. Musician? New song coming out.

    I don’t know why you are suprised at a model promoting her latest venture on a chat show. Why don’t you just be honest and admit that just hate Ross with an unhealthy zeal, regardless of what is on his programme?


  32. jimbob says:

    talking of snouts in troughs let’s spare a thought for jenny abramsky who retires this month with the largest state sector pension pot ever. £190k p.a from a lump sum of £4M.

    well done Jenny !



  33. Gordon says:

    I am in general agreement with what you said, except that the word “unhealthy” should be excised.


  34. HSLD says:

    Hating Jonathon Ross is a sign that your brain is functioning correctly.


  35. Anon says:

    Classy stuff – it looks like a loaf of Tesco’s “no-frills” bread.

    Jason | 15.09.08 – 4:35 am

    A bit like his storytelling:


    “On any day but today. Today was different. He looked up at the bare stage. Just hours before, she’d been there. So unlike her, saying nothing — singing nothing. Just lying, face up, in a wooden casket as the few people he knew, and the masses he didn’t, said their respects before they headed to the cemetery. Those last couple of hours didn’t seem real, because it was here, …”



  36. Bartleby the Scrivener says:

    Brilliant. Investigative journalism at its best. It’s like Watergate all over again.

    That Amanda Platell, eh? One imagines her curled up on the sofa, watching the programme, when she gets a hunch. “You know what, I suspect he only asked her that question because she is launching a perfume.” Such dazzling intuition from the nation’s favourite racist.

    Get real. People go on chatshows to plug things, not because they just happen to fancy a natter. On live television, in front of an audience of millions.


  37. Hugh says:

    Why’s Amanda Plattell a racist?


  38. Ron Todd says:

    Bartleby the Scrivener

    I thought people wnton chat shows because theygot paid a huge wodge of money for a few hours work.


  39. Jon says:

    Why’s Amanda Plattell a racist?

    Because she doesn’t work for the BBC or Guardian. – Isn’t that right Melville (aka Bartleby the Scrivener)


  40. Overseas Expat says:

    I think I tend to agree with Sharamik, that there is a lot of hatred/resentment towards Jonathan Ross and the amount paid to his production company. Now that Friday Night has started up again, will there be a weekly ‘Jonathan Ross’ topic?

    I’m surprised no-one commented on the Barack Obama badge that Stevie Wonder was wearing – and got to plug. And Steve Coogan plugging his tour. And The Streets plugging his forthcoming album. etc. etc. Guests appear because they have something to promote, and hopefully have something interesting to say. I don’t mind Ross being rude/crude with them, as it’s a chance to see how they react outside of their normally managed appearances in print etc. And, yes, it’s not highbrow, but on a Friday night after work it makes me laugh.

    Abigail Clancy was a weak guest – must have been hard to persuade people to show up that week with Stevie Wonder appearing (I suspect Coogan is a friend of Ross and was an easy one to ask to appear).

    Charley Boorman had a recent feature in the Telegraph. He admits that he’s lucky to be able to do what he does now, and says that it was likely using the Ewan McGregor name helped get the freebies (although he’s now made his name enough to carry By Any Means on his own). The first series (Round) was on Sky, so presumably no problems there? The second series was picked up by the BBC. Both were made by the same independent production company. Possibly it can be argues the BBC are ‘stealing’ an existing show from an established broadcaster (which they’re not meant to do). However, it can also be shown they are simply providing the show to a wider audience than is possible with Sky.

    If you want real hypocrisy look to Noel Edmonds – and an unexpected defender of the BBC in BoJo here:


  41. Ron Todd says:

    Overseas Expat:

    And, yes, it’s not highbrow, but on a Friday night after work it makes me laugh.

    Should that be on Friday night after a lot of alcohol it makes me laugh


  42. Jason says:

    Looks like Boris Johnson is getting his clock cleaned in the comments attached to his Times article – apart from a couple of idiots who completely miss the point.

    It’s nice to see such an outpouring of hatred for Al-Beeb anyway. I’m getting more and more confident that reason will prevail in time and we’ll see an end to these horrible little Marxist ratbags. I’d like to see them marched out into the car park with cattle prods in their backs to be quite honest. They have disgraced themselves beyond all hope over the last few months, their tongues scraping endlessly up and down Obama’s arse crack with no shame whatsoever.


  43. ohne says:

    Overseas Expat | 16.09.08 – 3:37 am
    “However, it can also be shown they(bbc) are simply providing the show to a wider audience than is possible with Sky”

    A small point but “Round” was shown first on Sky3 which is on ‘freeview’


  44. Niallster says:

    As an aside I have met Amanda Platell a few times and know people who know her well.

    She is convinced in her own mind that she is drop dead gorgeous and all men fancy the pants off her despite the obvious fact that she is an old boiler.

    She is also scarilly obsessed with hating Natasha Kaplinsky.

    She is described by a friend of mine as ‘deeply weird and destined to end up alone in a house full of cats’.


  45. Anonymous says:

    “She is also scarilly [sic] obsessed with hating Natasha Kaplinsky”
    Niallster | 16.09.08 – 12:54 pm |

    I fail to see the problem.


  46. Bartleby the Scrivener says:

    Why is she racist? Where to start? She thinks of herself as this harbinger of difficult truths, but she’s obsessed with the people playing the “race card”. She’s racist in the same way that Melanie Phillips is racist when she talks about Londonistan.



  47. Ron Todd says:

    As an aside I have met Amanda Platell a few times and know people who know her well.

    She is convinced in her own mind that she is drop dead gorgeous and all men fancy the pants off her

    Never met her in person; going from her photos drop dead gorgeous might be flattering her but would certainly rate her as pretty anf good for her age a long way above old boiler.


  48. Peter says:

    Taking all the points ‘accepting’ self-promo as an ingrained if not actually yet (to me, in many cases) fully justified excuse for celebs promoting their commercial stuff as a requirement to front up on Aunty’s fluff programming (ie: most, including serious news programmes, it seems)… I must say I still managed an eye-brow crank just now on BBC Breakfast.

    Two ‘experts’ of dubious provenance wheeled out to talk about etiquette/feminism/manners sitting on the red sofa of ooze, and both holding up their books on their laps throughout.

    Maybe a scrolling banner that reads ‘Available now on BBC Books..’?